Since I'mm getting married soon (InshAllah) I'm trying to learn as much as I can about what it takes to make a successful marriage.... I found this post and love it!
Thought I'd share it with you all...... :) Let me know what you think?
Is marriage a bed of roses? That would depend I would say, because a bed of roses is very beautiful to look at and admire, but it takes a tremendous amount of hard work and patience to cultivate the perfect bed of roses. In the same way a happy marriage will not just happen, you have to make it happen, you have to work at a marriage day in and day out, that's why its called a "Labour of love". Marriage is all about what we bring into it. The baggage that we carry as well as our character, how we conduct ourselves, our modesty and chastity also plays a role.
Common problems faced by couples: The major problem within a marriage is that we depend on the other person for our happiness. We need to set the tone - the mood - we need to create an inner peace and this is what will give us happiness. We want and we expect the other person to validate us, to give us our self worth and to make us eternally happy. This goes for both parties, and when this doesn't happen then they start blaming each other. They feel that their physical and emotional needs are not fulfilled. Once they start blaming each other they start looking outside the marriage for fulfillment. But the answer to this problem does not lie outside the marriage, it lies in what happens before the marriage and it lies within it.
Solution to this problem: it lies in learning to love and understand the person you are married to. To be affectionate and attentive to the other person's needs and moods spoken and unspoken. Also to respect the other persons boundaries and sensitivities. Develop ourselves spiritually so that we have "itminaan" (contentment) within ourselves.
What are the ingredients for a good marriage: •Piety •commitment •patience •effort •wisdom. These are the ingredients for a happy and successful marriage. These are the factors which can turn the marriage into a blissful rose garden.