Saturday, April 6, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
A nice message my mom sent me.
I enjoy her messsges as they aleays offer much needed guidance. :)
Fighting in a Relationship Is as Normal as Breathing
Any relationship, and by that I mean any relationship, will always have disagreements.
It’s inevitable, even in the most perfect of couples. I dare say they are perfect because they fight.
The thing is, it can happen once in a blue moon or everyday. It’s simply a matter of how both of you cope with it that’s really important.
Although fighting is somewhat a negative connotation, having disagreements every now and then is not necessarily a bad thing.
Regardless of the cause, relationship fights can have both a positive and negative effects.
Handled properly a fight can result in a deeper understanding between the two of you – one where you gain a deeper closeness and respect for one another.
On the other hand, a mishandled fight can result in resentment, hostility and even a break in the relationship – something you wouldn’t want to happen.
How the two of you resolve your issues determines whether your relationship will be healthy or unhealthy.
Every couple has their own approach to resolving such conflicts.
Some couples go all out and do the blame game – confront and blame each other while disregarding their own mistakes.
Others simply avoid or deny the existence of a problem while others simply give in or compromise without really understanding.
This stops the fighting but only for the moment and it leaves the relationship on shaky ground.
Start With the Right Attitude Toward Conflict in Your Relationship
A healthy frame of mind is essential, if you want to resolve any issue before you.
You need to be open minded and keep your emotions in check. So if you are feeling angry it is important to calm down first before you do anything.
It is quite hard to control your emotions and remain respectful and rational at the same time.
If you lose your cool, 9 times out of 10 you’ll wind up saying something that both of you will regret later on.
If things get too heated, take a break to cool off. Once you’ve done that you’ll find that it gets easier to talk to one another.
Remember, there are no take backs in life.
> DON’T play the historical blame game
Pointing fingers at one another won’t help anyone. In fact it only increases the chances of everything escalating.
By blaming the other partner you are putting them on the defensive by making them guilty.
And the past is the past. Don’t bring up things that happened yesterday just so you have ammunition to use.
Also, by putting them on the defensive you would be stopping all communication between the two of you.
> Stop, Look, Listen AND Understand
Just because you’re fighting doesn’t mean you have to be rude and hysterical with one another.
Keeping your calm and being cordial and understanding will go a long way in finding a solution.
When your partner is talking don’t interrupt. Not only is it rude, it also makes the conversation longer and more heated.
At the same time, it prevents you from truly hearing what they have to say.
And please no sarcasm and going around in circles. Sarcasm may work in certain situations but definitely not when both of you are heated up.
Also get to the point of the conversation. Going around in circles will not only prolong the conversation but it will just irritate your partner, thereby potentially escalating the situation.
If you don’t understand something, restate it so he knows that’s how you understood him. Even if it is wrong, at least it shows that you are trying to get what he is saying.
Keep in mind that both of you have the right to have your respective needs and wants known and requested of each other.
Even if it makes you or him uncomfortable or unhappy.
You need to hear each other out and to understand what each one is saying.
Remember, BOTH of you matter in this situation.
Fighting is a normal and healthy progression in any relationship....
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Since I'mm getting married soon (InshAllah) I'm trying to learn as much as I can about what it takes to make a successful marriage.... I found this post and love it!
Thought I'd share it with you all...... :) Let me know what you think?
Is marriage a bed of roses? That would depend I would say, because a bed of roses is very beautiful to look at and admire, but it takes a tremendous amount of hard work and patience to cultivate the perfect bed of roses. In the same way a happy marriage will not just happen, you have to make it happen, you have to work at a marriage day in and day out, that's why its called a "Labour of love". Marriage is all about what we bring into it. The baggage that we carry as well as our character, how we conduct ourselves, our modesty and chastity also plays a role.
Common problems faced by couples: The major problem within a marriage is that we depend on the other person for our happiness. We need to set the tone - the mood - we need to create an inner peace and this is what will give us happiness. We want and we expect the other person to validate us, to give us our self worth and to make us eternally happy. This goes for both parties, and when this doesn't happen then they start blaming each other. They feel that their physical and emotional needs are not fulfilled. Once they start blaming each other they start looking outside the marriage for fulfillment. But the answer to this problem does not lie outside the marriage, it lies in what happens before the marriage and it lies within it.
Solution to this problem: it lies in learning to love and understand the person you are married to. To be affectionate and attentive to the other person's needs and moods spoken and unspoken. Also to respect the other persons boundaries and sensitivities. Develop ourselves spiritually so that we have "itminaan" (contentment) within ourselves.
What are the ingredients for a good marriage: •Piety •commitment •patience •effort •wisdom. These are the ingredients for a happy and successful marriage. These are the factors which can turn the marriage into a blissful rose garden.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
It's been forever!
Been crazy busy my side - work, exams, business & my ENGAGEMENT! Yes... you saw right :) on 6 October 2012 I got engaged to my wonderful boyfriend. (now fiance of course) ;)
Now I have an even more crazy time ahead as I have to plan a wedding and my whole future! Eeeek!
Anyway... Summer is upon us in Cape Town, South Africa, and its time to get out the beautiful dresses..
My post today is about maxi dresses and styles I love. Wish i had these in my closet.. sigh!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
- Information and Communication Technology
- ICT refers to the combination of communication technology with information technology to provides a network of connected computers or other electronic devises.
- Peripheral devices
- It refers to the physical parts of the computing device that are used for Input, processing and Output activities.
- Input devices
- Output devices
- System unit
- Secondary storage data
Friday, September 7, 2012
Allah took a piece of His Noor & called it His "Beloved". *
This noor made tawaaf around the Arch of Allah for many years.
When Allah created Adam, He placed the Noor in the backbone of Adam.
The malaika would stand in rows upon rows behind Adam & gaze in awe at
the noor. When Adam asked Allah what was going on behind him,* *Allah
informed him that the malaika were admiring the noor in his back.
*Then Adam asked Allah to place it in his forehead, so Allah did & then
the malaika would stand in front of Adam & gaze in awe. Eventually Adam
asked Allah to place it where he Adam could also admire it. *
*So the noor was placed in his index finger. Looking at the noor of
Allah's "Praised one" in his finger, Adam proclaimed:
"Ashadu Allah ila ha ilallahu wa shadu ana Muhammadu rasulullah". And
that is the bases of why we lift the index finger when making the *
*same proclamation,...also, there is a vein running from the same index
finger, straight to the heart*
Allahu - akbar, Islam is so beautiful !!!
May Allah grant us the guidance to practice with sincerity, Inshallah. *
Jummuah Mubarak to you and your families!!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
"Where ever you are, be PRESENT.. We are so busy planning and thinking about tomorrow, we forget to APPRECIATE today!"